• Deepasha Jha

5 Bad Mental Health Habits that are Eating You up from Inside

First, we make our habits, then our habits make us. – Charles C. Noble.

We all have unknowingly and unintentionally, inculcated habits that are unhealthy for our mental health. These repetitive actions that we take in our daily lives, end up eating our goodness, peace of mind, and self-esteem. Just how cutting down junk food is good for our body, cutting down bad mental health habits is also good for our mind and emotional wellbeing. Here are some of the major habits that I think are eating us up from inside and need immediate action.

1. You talking Negatively inside your Head

The most common path that paves to an unhealthy mindset starts from negative self-talk. We often already have a whole lot of negativity around us, we need not let our minds add to it. Negative self-talk can be in the form of self-doubt or putting yourself down, considering yourself inferior to others, not believing in your strengths, always looking at the darker side of any situation, losing faith in the good, predicting negative future scenarios, etc. All these habits fuel our mind with negativity and create the same environment as outside, on the inside, blocking our vision in seeing the brighter side.

In order to change this, we must practice the change of words

from “I can’t do this” to “I’m still learning this”

from “I have failed” to “I can improve”

from “I should quit” to “I can ask for help and try again”

Instead of calling out the bad things around us, we should change our mindset and start recognizing and being thankful for all the good things we have and what we can achieve from them.

2. You hold on to Past, Guilt, Regret, and Grudge

A person thinks about 60,000 thoughts per day on average, and 95% of them are repeated thoughts from yesterday. (I read this in The Monk who Sold his Ferrari)

Life is a journey full of ups and downs. Some experiences turn out to become our best memories, whereas some turn out to be the lessons. The things we regret, things we are guilty of, are our experiences in the journey of life that were made for lessons. Those regrets and guilts and bad memories have framed us into the people we are today. That was their job, to provide us with learnings and adding to our personalities. Holding on to the past only stresses our present and future. Holding grudges against others only hurts us from the inside and affects our wellbeing in a negative way. If we keep dwelling and clinging on to past memories, we will get caught up in the loop of overthinking of repeated thoughts. This will only add up to an unhealthy mindset and not cure it. Once we have lived that past and gained the experience, there is no point in digging it over and over again. There is no point in reminding ourselves with the same sad memories because their job is done and now our job is to leave them there and move on in life for new experiences.

3. You Compare yourself with almost Everyone

Comparison in a negative way leads to self-destruction in the long run. We humans have it inbuilt within us to compare everything - compare people, compare beauty, compare jobs compare income, compare lives, etc. Regular judgment, of who has it better than us is unhealthy. Constant jealousy especially from social media these days is toxic for our mental health. We’re all different individuals on this planet with different stories, different goals, and different destinies in life. Each one of us comes from a different background and leads a different life. A friend of yours could be living their best life being a fashion blogger, but that’s their idea of life. Your dream and your vision could be different from that and be better for you. What makes others happy doesn’t necessarily mean that it’ll cure your happiness too. Also, all that glitters is not gold. Before we start to compare and call out our insecurities and lead the way of jealousy, we must remember that secret of a happy life resides in being content, satisfied, and grateful for what we have. If you want to compete then compete with the version of yourself that was yesterday. Work on yourself and improve your lifestyle for yourself, not for others.

4. You Dependent on People for Your Happiness

Co-dependency is one of the major reasons for relationship failure. It could be any type of relationship - friends, family, colleagues, etc. Wives depending on husbands for emotional and financial support, friends depending on each other for approval of self-worth, an employee dependent on his boss for tasks all the time are some of the examples of a toxic relationship and dependency in life. If the source of our happiness is someone else, if the reason for our good or bad mood is someone else, if the reason for our worries is someone else, then we’re doing it wrong.

Any relationship with anyone is supposed to a bowl of shared happiness. And in order to share happiness with someone, we must complete ourselves first. Being whole, complete and happy with our own selves and then sharing that wholesome connection with another individual who is also complete and content with himself/herself, is the right way of leading any kind of relationship. Hence love yourself before loving anyone else. Don’t let your emotions depend on someone else, only you should hold the right to affect your emotions and behavior, no one else.

5. You Bottle up Feelings

Keeping things to yourself, especially the ones that are bothering you, is unhealthy. It’s like clogging your way to clear happiness. Keeping your thoughts, emotions, and worries to yourself and not sharing them with respective people will cause you to deprive, mislead, and in some cases even, hold wrong beliefs. If you have a doubt, just ask it out. If you have a complain, address it. If you are guilty, just apologize. If you’re feeling something, just be honest about it. Opening up and being honest about how you feel about certain people, a certain place or certain occasion will bring you clarity and relief to your mind. When we let things out of our minds, it becomes lighter and less stressful. Therefore talking about things is always helpful. Opening up and sharing your mind with the listeners around you will help you ease a lot of stress inside your head.

There are other bad mental habits also, like being a people pleaser, having poor postures, self-victimizing, fearing failure, arrogance, ego, etc. All such habits are functioning in us without even our knowledge many times. It becomes important for us to identify them and start working on replacing them with good mental habits for a better mindset and a healthier lifestyle. I will be posting about 5 Healthy Habits that will bring positive change to our Lifestyle, very soon. So, stay tuned and get rid of all the above-mentioned bad habits!

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